Gosh darn it. Columbus bloggers are just too freaking nice. We really need some New Media Douchebags to liven things up. What’s a New Media Douchebag you ask? Well, watch this clip from Cinnamon Pants first. Then continue reading.

Okay. So we learned that to be a New Media Douchebag, you have to do four things:

1. Don’t do any real work
2. Talk, Type, Tag, Text & Twitter
3. Hate a lot of stuff, and tell folks
4. Celebrate the other New Media Douchebags

Oh, snap! I think I do all four. I am a douchebag. Especially to you Ohio State fans. And more so now, as I commence to celebrate the Columbus New Media Douchebags. But I don’t hate on things that much. And I’m a pretty nice guy. So I’ll rate myself as a pretender. I want to know who the REAL New Media Doucebags are in Columbus.

One guy I know isn’t is Walker. He’s a class act and to soil his name in this post is heretic. But his site Columbus Underground certainly plays hosts to a few douchebags. And I say so in a loving and respectful way, so take no offense.

My friend Andy, who does the FineRepast and Ohio Golf Blog, is a douchebag in real life, but not online.

Okay, ColumbusING. Now that’s a real New Media Douchebag site. But I do have to knock it down on the douchebag scale since it’s resident douchebag Underducky hasn’t posted since October 7, 2007. Probably because he’s moved on to publishing Votelessness, some snarky douchebag site about the joke that is democracy. Pinky communist.

Film School Rejects. Now they are douchebags. And not for the reasons listed above. I mean, you give a shout out to a local blog done good and you don’t even get an acknowledgment. Not even a “thanks for the link dude”. And you @rejects them on Twitter, and they give you no @ replies. Not that I’m stalking. But geez! Where’s the love. Love the site though, keep up the great work.

Fly Paper Blog. Now there’s a non-douchebaggy site, in the gives respect kind of way. They at least thanked me for the link via e-mail. But are they New Media Douchbags? I think they are. Yea, I’d classify them as that. Welcome to the club, or as 50 Cent would say “da club”. Gosh. I am such a douche.

You would think that The Columbus Beer Wench would be a New Media Douchebag. But no. She isn’t. She’s just spreading her love and knowledge for beer to our fine city. And plus, I’m working with Ashley on a cool project, so it wouldn’t be nice of me to call her a douchebag. Even though in my world, being called a douchebag is a compliment.

If you call Bullshit on the Columbus Dispatch for their ULTIMATE DOUCHEBAG move on letting passengers fly out on Skybus while knowing that there will be no return flight, then you blog 256, an O’Shaughnessy production, are a New Media Douchebag. And you, Columbus Dispatch, that’s just you being a flat out, no complement here, douche.

Boys Wear Pants. Now Josh is a real New Media Douchebag. And if I ever get off my duff on a Friday night to have some beers instead of writing douchebag posts at midnight on Friday, then I’d love to toast a beer with you.

My twitter friend @soldierant, who also writes Soldier Ant, now there’s another New Media Douchebag that I’d like to have a beer with. Maybe the Wench can organize a New Media Douchebag outing. Call it: Drink with the Wench and her Douchebags.

Have I missed anyone? Of course. I’m a douchebag. If you know a Columbus New Media Douchebag, continue the conversation and out them in the comments.

Cheers!