I’m dying to see if my neighbor mows his lawn today. It has rained all night and now all morning. But Sunday and Wednesday are his lawn-mowing days. After all, the City of Columbus usually comes on Thursday to pick up the grass clippings. Can’t miss that, now can we?

Will he attempt to dodge raindrops so that his beloved grass carpet will remain at its uniform 2.25 inches? What would the neighbors think if his lawn became obstreperous at the disheveled height of 3+ inches?

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Will his 6.75 horsepower, Briggs and Stratton engine, 21 inch cut, self-propelled, rear-bagging, 3 in 1 blade system, John Deere push-mower get yet another opportunity to belch out 11 times more pollutants than your average car and 3 times the decibels? I think I saw him spraying Pam non-stick cooking spray to the underside of the beast in preparation for its twice weekly feeding.

He can’t let my other neighbor, who mowed despite a June shower, show him up. Heck, I’ve heard him fire up his mower in the 8 am hour on weekends. A little rain would seem like less of an inconvenience than an early start to the day.

Ahh well, I’m putting a fifty spot that he’ll mow at some point today. The urge is just too great to resist. Besides, I think he’s already watched the most recent American Idol three times.

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Welcome to the270. If this is your first time here and think, "what a douchebag", well that's my intent. To spur conversation. To drive my agenda to make Columbus a better place. If you are the subject of my douchebaggery, please do not take offense. I mean no harm. Leave a comment. And we'll discuss.
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